In 1st Timothy verse 2, the bible says: “treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” This is difficult verse to follow when you have feelings for a woman and want to pursue a meaningful relationship with her–potentially entering marriage with her. You want to show her kindness and humility and other biblical qualities, but you also, I guess, want to be manly around her and show her that your interested and want to pursue her for something more. It is quite difficult to do at times because nowadays, most men go about pursuing and dating women without a biblical perspective, and it seems to be working for them. They get to hold hands and kiss and whatever: There probably not thinking how should I treat my girlfriend as a sister in Christ. And, I know for myself, I say maybe I should go about pursuing women like these guys. Yet, I know that it is not the right way to pursue a woman. I still want, and desire, those things with a woman that I have strong feelings for: I would love to go to the movies with her, go out to dinner with her, having inside jokes with her, and all those other cheesy things that couples have. Desiring romance and intimacy is not a bad thing, God designed those things for people to be able to express there love for one another. But, I guess, those thoughts of romance and intimacy might inhibit me from truly seeing a woman as sister Christ, a daughter of Christ.
When your pursuing a woman that you have strong feelings for, you struggle with treating her as a sister in Christ and wanting her to want you without her thinking of you as a brother or a close male friend. I feel most girls have been in relationships, and approached by guys, who did not treat them in accordance with a biblical perspective. So, when they finally our approached by guy who trying his best, and I mean his best, to treat them as Christ would want them to–not how the world wants them to—they place that guy in the friendzone or see him as a nice guy but nothing more. It really sucks. It is frustrating and quite difficult at times for men who just whole heartily desire to have romance and intimacy with a woman under a biblical perspective. I know for me, personally, I can get discouraged because it seems that when you do things the right way, the woman does not notice that your being different and that can be quite hurtful. But, when this happen, I pray and ask God to comfort me and help through it. In the end, He always has my best interest at heart.
I wrote this because, I don’t know, I felt compelled to. Please feel free to comment if you are dealing, or have dealt, with this as well.